treasure life

2010-07-19T14:09:00.002+08:00

i don't really think im touching that camry anymore. it wasn't a pleasant drive. esp with mommy, daddy and sissy in the car. dangerous.

i'll stick to the lancer.

and i don't really think i'll ever drink on a yacht anymore. be it parked at the dock or out in the sea. i have motion sickness to begine with. and why did i drink. and so i merlion-ed. sucks.

and i don't really think mommy will give me cash for shopping anytime soon. cuz i just bought 2 pairs of shoes and she paid. one nike training shoes that spell one word- L-O-U-D. purple. good contrast with my ultra tanned legs.

and i don't really think i would want to run on the treadmill anymore. i felt sooooo tired after a 15 jog on the treadmill. and was drenched.

and i don't really think im very pleased with the pathetic fact that im only left with 2 weeks of holiday. Damn it. 3 months passed that quickly?? man, this sucks.

and i don't really think this post should have colours.

2010-07-16T14:26:00.002+08:00

im updating now yiqi. hehe

ce camp was a blast. and then. i had alot of fun. made friends. and. i love my uni clique. and. hmmm.

i love gr (:

and i've been out very frequently nowadays. for ce outings. dating bla bla.

and i've having a bad bad bad rash. just went to see the doctor. and he gave me a new cream and some pills. antibiotics cream. hmmmm. the rash is really bad. itchy.

and after that me and mommy went to east pt ntuc. our playground. judging from both our rubbish-ness. i'm quite sure she's my mom. like she gave brith to me. no doubts. we're seriously full of rubbish. :D

so we were fighting over what pork to buy. i was choosing suuuuper fatty one. then she snatched it away from me. then threw her thinner one into the trolley. i mean its. bacon strips those super fat ones. you obviously get the ultra fat one. then affter we walked away i went back to get one more pack of frozen pork. fat one. hehe.

and then. i was asking my mom how to choose things. like i always do. then she suddenly said, “你真的很聪明，会问我的意见。”

i stared at her. and asked “你不会害羞的啊？”

she gleamed. sooo cute.

we spent alot of time in ntuc. and got one whole trolley filled of stuff as usual. 200 bucks worth of goods. bought alot of rubbish. i always quietly put things into the trolley. today i got to put mint cookie, 2 packets of gummies, measuring spoons. hehe.

i love mommy too (:

school's starting. fingers crossed.

2010-06-20T12:49:00.004+08:00

clone im updating for you. (: after seeing the tag i went to look at my last post. its a bit long ago. like 29th may. almost a month ago! almost hehe.

alot lot lot of things happened. so much that i d'no where to update. but i've been personally updating ppl here and there.

i've been driving for the whole week. and im loving the lancer. maybe cuz that's the only car i drove apart from the lousyyyyy toyata vios.

i'll try dad's camry maybe later? maybe.

hopefully can drive to nus tmr? for the meeting.

anw countless dry runs. twice at sentosa. and twice at nus. random meetings here and there. and i love civil engineering. from the bottom of my heart. i love my civil engine friends. and my twin too. hehe.

she came over and baked an applie pie for her boyfriend. wei xiong owes me one don't care. if not for me i think he has to wait for another 7 years to eat sth brenda COOKED.

then im busy dating. hehe.

then the camp is coming wed to sat.

then the last time i saw him is on thurs. today is sunday. and i'll only see him on tue.

then my relatives are coming over later for father's day celebration.

then i got ice wine at home. drop me a sms if you wanna come over and drink. i've been drinking alone for the past 2 days.

then i got a new coach bag and wrislet.

then i went to watch lining singapore open at indoor stadium. im amused with myself. trained to be alone.

then he played so well i was grinning under my jacket.

then there was apple pie. dumplings. mangoes. mango mousse.

im bored. im just blogging anything that comes to my mind.

clone, i wonder why we don't really meet on meetings. those then you can't make it im there. and those i can't make it you're there. weirds.

and hi yiqi! you're sooo rubbish and hence so special i can't help thinking of you. :D

and my oh so capable xue wei. i think CE club has drilled you well. you're so capable now. way more capable than me. you do plannings. emails. speeches. proposals. i only do up flags.

lalala. messy post. doesn't matter.

i guess im looking forward to ce camp. cuz. i get to play meet new ppl. and when its over im officially free. persevere this week. oh no i won't be home lemon how?? jia lat. see how.

okay goodbye peeps. (:

2010-06-18T11:08:00.000+08:00

2010-05-31T18:45:00.002+08:00

saturday has drained me soo much. my body is weak.

left home at 920 for my driving test. then went for lunch. movie. visit brenda at her workplace. had tea/dinner. then class gathering.

i reached home at 12.

and the next time im dead tired. and then mommy dragged me to orchard with her best friend and then after all the excitement. it added sooo much to my fatigue.

and now im sick here. im feeling hot/cold and i cant stop persipiring. i slept 3 hours in the afternoon. 9 hours last night. bathed lemon. and did nothing else.

nose blocked. lost my voice. and just soft.

grades are out. driving test passed. that's all my good luck i guess. after having pure bad luck for 2 weeks. knocking my head into almost everything low. and then tripping on anything jutting out. and tolerating my sister. yay.

now i must tolerate a new nuisance- my brother who keeps pestering to drive around. main point. WITH HIM. no way. im only g'na drive with mommy.

sick. doctor tmr i guess.

im glad i survived last week. with 4 driving lessons, 2 dry runs, 1 driving test. my body is on strike.

2010-05-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

罗志祥's concert was a blast. blast blast blast. sooooooooooo high. so so so so so high. ^^ loved it.

but 88 is ample i guess. since he's sooo small even from a 180 bucks view. haha

im still stupidly in love. stupidly. women turn stupid when in love. yes me. sooo stupid. they do stupid things. does it happen to guys as well?

2010-05-13T11:13:00.001+08:00

big fat sinner. me.

2 deadly sins. gluttony and jealousy. probably others that i don't know of.

jealousy oh jealousy. so dead jealous. i promise im getting over it.

why should i be jealous in the first place?

2010-05-08T18:20:00.003+08:00

its a commitment too huge. i don't think im ever ready for it? am i?

mother's day is a torture for filial children.

i just came back from bras basah. bought a art canvas and a un-collapsable easel and a a2 transparent file. so it is 60 bucks plus 30 bucks plus 25 bucks = 115. GULPS. 25 is for the merc cab home cuz the easel had to be cabbed home with me. and i d'no why there's a huge surcharge. 115! damn it.

let me include the tears that almost exploded from my eye socket for not being able to flag a cab at a foreign island. and there were raindrops falling from the sky. and i had to hold a a2 size bag on one hand, and the easel on the other. and a heavy bag that contained a bottle, umbrella, wallet, sunglasses, planner, ds, 2 hps and a packet of tissue. darn it. i felt so damn lost and stranded.

and all for mother's day.

did i forget to mention the 1 hour bus ride there? no i didn't. now i did.

filial child award. thanks.

im so freaking drained and hungry. lemon has nothing for me. probably how she waits for me to come home every single day. and warmly welcomes me every time i come home. like really warm. that should suffice i guess.

i chopped off my hair.

2010-05-04T17:45:00.002+08:00

its probably a girl's thing to update each other. and be ultra concerned with one another.

guys just heck care. its just attached or not.

girls would have red, green, amber lights. and then just turned red/green/amber. or going to turn red/green/amber. or staying red/green/amber.

i am amber light.

TALKING ABOUT TRAFFIC LIGHTS. damn it. my driving lesson is like next week. im like so freaking nervous like now. i refuse to book the driving lesson this thursday which is before my cg. no thursday is just too near for me to send myself to grave.

tickles in the stomach.

its probably the last cg im going (secret don't tell nicholas/my cell group leaders about it). they both have graduated. and i don't wish to readapt to another CG. and i don't quite fancy going to friday masses. in short i seriously don't feel comfortable in CSS. and probably not going for FOC for CSS. shhhhh. just let me slowly disappear.

im having a headache. but i couldnt fall asleep for my nap. and i wasted one day out of 3 months of holiday. okay. i'll find things to do.

i really like how things are working out (:

2010-04-30T12:50:00.004+08:00

im thankful for my old man. who stays right by side and takes care of me. just like that big gorgeous tree i see out of my window everyday. so tall, so sturdy and never disappears.

2010-04-26T21:54:00.001+08:00

How old are you going to be when you get married?
Put an X in every box that applies to you.
Add up all the x`s and it is your marriage age.

[X] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[X] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[ ] You do your own laundry
[ ] You vote every election
[X] You can cook for yourself
[X] You think politics are exciting
[ ] You balance your own checkbook
[ ] Your parents have better things to say than your friends
Total: 4

[X] You show up for school/college/work every day early.
[ ] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse
[ ] You've never gotten a detention
[X] You have never smoked a cigarette
[ ] You have never gotten completely trashed
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[X] You like to take walks by yourself
[X] You've watched talk shows.
[X] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up
[X] You drink coffee[caffiine] at least once a week.
Total: 6

[X] You know how to do the dishes.
[X] You can count to 10 in another language.
[X] When you say you're going to do something you do it.
[X] My parents trust me
[ ] You can mow the lawn
[X] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[X] You remember to water the plants
[X] You study when you have to
[X] You pay attention at school/college
[X] You remember to feed your pets
Total: 9

[X] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up.
[ ] You work out on a regular basis.
[X] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[X] You have gained weight since middle/high school
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[X] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[X] You can type quickly
Total: 5

[ ] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[X] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[X] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[X] You can say no to staying out all night
[ ] You use the internet every day
[X] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while
[X] You can read a book and actually finish it
total:5

29. WTH good qualities means 1 year away from marriage. what logic!

2010-04-17T10:32:00.002+08:00

im too much of an engineer. mathematician. physicist. and there is no equation to love. no theory. no step by step instructions.

which explains why im so screwed now.

i loathe going for CSS mass.

2010-04-09T10:33:00.003+08:00

foong did motivate me a little bit to get a license.

so i was determined to call comfort up today to ask if i can even book a test date.

i know i've told many ppl i'll rebook someday. yes someday. and the whole world is nagging me to rebook.

to my amazement. i discovered last night that comfort driving centre kicked me out of school! fine my membership expired. so i got loads of crap to tie up b4 i can even book the test?

and then. going to the comfort website. looking at my blue booklet. everything! is scarying me. stomachache~~

and my bludder has removed his p-plate like last week (i think). so in terms of driving, im like equivalent to my sec1 sister. damn.

but i really have stomachache. can i not call them up? hehe.

2010-04-03T14:21:00.003+08:00

title: bullshit.

since friend was so stringently defined. and i only got 2 friends- God, and lemon.

here are more terms.

confident, companion, acquaintance, ally, buddy, associate, classmate, colleague, partner, pal, playmate.

which are you?

2010-04-02T20:44:00.003+08:00

its good friday and i wasted my whole day sleeping.

and im still tired. i don't know if its the accumulation of fatigue or what.

super big easter house blessing at my house this sunday. 60 people. im worried about lemon. i seriously don't know what will happen.

i don't feel like studying.

and then when i was bathing i realise that a quarter of my uni year is son over. that is fast.

and then in a moment i'll be working? scary shit.

so that's how boring life is? yawns.

2010-03-29T10:15:00.002+08:00

finally let loose yesterday.

went back to ahs for table tennis with foong, bren and bren's friend, wei xiong. :D

its been a long time since i sweat until every inch of my skin glowed. shimmery. and as i thought i'll lose some weight. i found myself to be 2 kg heavier this morning. as of 3/4 months back.

so 2kg of fats turned into 4kg of muscles?

lots of thoughts. and self reflection this morning as a sat infront of the garden. most importantly with lemon beside me.

i feel like i have a huge baggage on me. and only with lemon all the weight is gone. there need not be any self censor, or image to keep. im too self conscious. and my image is too important to keep. it gets tiring.

perfectionist? can there be no flaw and mistake i can have? can i not fall?

too many embarassing things lately. feelings too honest on my face. words leaking out. sigh.

what's a friend..?

from google,
a person you know well and regard with affection and trust.

so there's 3 parts. 4 if you don't wish to assume a friend is a person. lemon is not my friend. she's my daughter. makes sense.

so there is: you know well, affection and trust.

affection : a positive feeling of liking ; trust: have confidence or faith in

faith: complete confidence

confidence: assurance

assurance: freedom from doubt; binding commitment to do or give

commitment: binding yourself to a course of action.

so how many friends do you have. none? God?

i never knew a friend involves that much. am i a friend to someone? is anyone a friend of mine?

2010-03-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

i can't rmb where i updated till. but on wed i sank into depression again. oops.

cuz i realise you can't get over a guy just by saying you got over him. RIGHT?

even if your mind is strong. the heart is weak.

DAMN IT THE NEIGHBOUR IS BLASTING SOME !@#$%^& SOCCER MATCH! I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM.

not that you guys don't know I HATE SOCCER. what idiotic match is going on now. one goal and it'll wake me up. ugh. i shall shut the windows and got hot to death.

so yea. i didn't really get over him. my heart went crazy. it was beating too fast. ):

2010-03-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

thanks foong.

anw im out of my depression alrd. cuz i just finished my SS essay!!! yay. 80kg load off me. i can then focus on doing tutorials and study for my 2nd midterms.

and about my love life. i've decided to stop liking him. (if i fall for him again its another case) and be receptive to male beings once again.

and then my eyes are really better wearing sunglasses.

all is well again. (:

im addicted to you're beautiful. and IM GOING FOR SHOW LUO'S CONCERT. yes!!

2010-03-20T12:11:00.002+08:00

i'm probably going through the most screwed up period of the year.

after the 300 bucks check up with the eye specialist. the blurness was concluded due to the a large pupil, and most importantly, a pupil that does not constrict with increased light. which may cause blurness probably anytime of the day, but especially serious when its very bright.

further results showed that my vision field is limited. with my eyes not being able to see things in the top left hand corner. and this may worsen with hydrocyphylus. and caused by the friend in my brain.

nothing can be done to my eyes other than wearing sunglasses. no medication. no anything.

and then there's this screwed up essay for me to do. which made me go in circles cuz i just can't interprete the question correctly and come up with arguments. i think i spent 6 hours going in circles. i can't think with a right mind. the whole night i was dreaming and thinking of the question subconsciously in my sleep. i am extremely stressed.

and then im trying to get over you know who the whole day.

and when i am determined. i read his note on fb saying he had a bike accident. well done.

my mind is in a whirl now. and im drowning myself with readings to do.

i'll probably disappear from school a few days. i need a break.

2010-03-19T17:09:00.003+08:00

this is the last time. i promise its over.

im on and over with nicholas khoo.

yes no censoring needed.

this post shall be in black.

im shattered (fullstop)

2010-03-15T13:56:00.003+08:00

before i start my next round of mugging (for math- a great load ) i shall blog.

i am wen ying's clone
the econ's lecturer is mommy's clone.
nicholas is henry's clone
brother is hitler's clone
sister is daddy's clone
lemon is lady's clone
yiqi is tricia's clone

i got so much work to do.

and i don't like the parable of the prodigal son.

2010-03-06T10:47:00.002+08:00

yiqi's quote of the day.

"when he's unresposive, tell him you don't wanna talk to him anymore. you're going to chate with a pillar cuz a pillar is more reponsive."

i believe i'll stay single my entired life. cuz i'm apparently a 18th century girl living in the 21st.

tiannnn. all the proposals from guys are not feasible at all. for me.

not at all.

how how how how. i need to break this part. of awkwardness. but i like him too much. ):

enough said. midterms are over. and it feels like finals are over. -.- but i got too much work piled up. so much things to do. SIGH.

hows? i always thought it was just a dramamamama thing that girls get SO cautious when eating infront of the guy they like. so conscious of what he says/do/reacts. and then picks carefully the words to say. and that SHIT is happening to me now. and hence the relationship CANNOT progress. cuz its brief and on the surface. )):

2010-03-01T11:34:00.003+08:00

i think engine rocks (if you guys get the deep meaning behind it :D)

anyways. im studying math now. paper at 830pm later. so im going to crawl to school and then take a 1 hour paper. then crawl back home.

no one's giving me a lift. ):

i sat at the driver seat and daddy's car. (THE CAR IS STATIONARY) and i was tremendously scared alrd. the feeling of controlling the entire machine and with extra lives is not funny! isn't it?

and then there's crazy drivers on the road. so you'll get into an accident no matter what.

i look stupid with my new fringe cut. new cut fringe. whatever.

engine is a nice place isn't it?

2010-02-19T11:35:00.002+08:00

my life would have been meaningful and well lived if i lived everyday like yesterday.

so yes it was holy, enriching and nauseous. it ended of ultra nauseous. vomits. haha

anyway. so yesterday was first day of lent (yet i enjoyed myself so much oops) so i went st. peter and paul at queens street before heading to yong tao's place for steamboat (above jurong point). so i happily took mrt to city hall, and happily navigated to the church just like some tourist with my sunglasses. i love wearing sunglasses cuz first you look cool, second no one can see what you're looking at so you can stare all you want. anyway. so yea. wanted to get a pocket bible to accompany my train rides to school.

then as usual things crops up: they were out of stock! (this thing called devil is annoying) and then i got a small youth bible instead not to get beaten by such trials. then next i needed to get this catholic magazine to do my daily readings. and yes! they sold out of it. (wonderful). nvm. then i walked to the main church hoping to find the passages of the day. and yes again! i can't find it. they only have sunday readings. (yay) and then all the more i didn't want to get beaten down, i gathered my courage to ask people for the readings. and FINALLY some nice lady/communion minister went all the way to the office to get me the readins ((: YAY I WON THE BATTLE!!!!!! (so proud of myself) and i read the passages went into prayer.

oh then i was still a teeeny bit early. and since the church is right beside SAM (singapore arts museum) i thought of visiting it. since wen ying said it was free for us! but i stilled called her cuz i wasn't sure if it was really free. the admission counter look so high class that i didn't dare to enter and tell them i want to enter for free. but because i was alone (i am a different person when im alone exploring places) i went in after wen ying say why not i try. and then i went in FREE! and looked at paintings and some abstract contemporary art exhibition about some war in indonesia? i was alone in the whole hall, and it was damn gross. would have vomitted. art that is.

and then i flew to jurong point. then wow! there is really human beings staying above jurong point! hahahha. and then there's xiao guai who is lemon's clone. and then steam boat and then the horrible vodka and then im drunk on the cab home. then i felt ultra nauseous after bathing. ultra.

end of the fulfilling day ((:

i shall talk about the simpang outing the day before.

just the jaywalking part. apparently i look so calm jaywalking that SCARY STRETCH OF ROAD. i promise my heart rate was like THIS HIGH. and they just watched me jaywalk -.- scary man. SIMPANG IS SCART AFTER 10. the traffic is scary. then we played truth or dare. which by defualt became truth. and then i couldn't lie. and then i reach home at 12..?

why do i sink so deep everytime?

2010-02-16T16:23:00.002+08:00

my new house is falling apart. cuz my little cousins ( monkeys that did not succesfully evolve into humans) are at my place. the two 300bucks molecule bar top chair became a roller coaster, the piano became a drum set, lemon became a toy dog and the entire house a massive playground with free flow of sweets, chocolates and sweet drinks.

hence, i lock me and lemon up in the room now. i wish to ignore what is happening downstairs.

and to those who knew what happened last friday, im still utterly shattered. but i still talked to him. then shatter myself even more. i must be retartded. i'm still very stubborn though he really isn't worth it.

all this thanks to henry tang. haha.

but i think its really time to give up. and i promise i've tried my best to accept CSS. haiii.

2010-02-12T07:11:00.001+08:00

im still awed by qian yu's performance.

anyway, so i've been really busy this week. being part time housewife. visiting ntuc and fixing ikea chairs. oh well. then i got the juggle school work which i feel i did very badly. cuz i've got mastering physics and eg1109 assignment to do by this weekend (masterin is today). when people like xue wei and yi qi finished tutorial 3! oh tian.

feel like im on drugs these few days. drunk in school. but really happy.

and i woke up smiling this morning *gleam

why's he still so lonely???

2010-02-07T15:30:00.002+08:00

uber busy. finally finished moving. but still loads of touching up to do. with quite some unpacking left.

i was thinking about genes. its intersting how it works. like how im so cut for civil engineering cuz my dad is one. how i can draw sew and cook like how good my mom does. and then my mom's genes for falling for a guy on a bike. hahahhaha. and how i have my dad's nose. and mom's temper. dad's height and mom's shoe size. mom's disliking talkative guys. mom and dad's love for sports. dad's genes for not passing chemistry. and mom's stubborness. mom's CMI in driving. and dad's love for sleep. mom's generousity in shopping and dad's scrimpiness trying to keep old things. mom's good grasp in chinese langauge and dad's good skills in calculating.

i need to do my work now.

2010-01-21T14:53:00.003+08:00

im blogging again. becuase im deeply affected by a sudden fear.

the fear of having a secret revealed. a deep dark secret. not really dark. but a secret.

someone please agree with me that all this feelings are normally and i'll get over.

the uneasiness. the fatigue of keeping a secret. a deep dark secret. the fear of it being exposed. the burden of the secret.

im scared.

2010-01-21T13:55:00.002+08:00

seriously, i think a sane person wouldn't really go for FCG(faculty cell group) if he was me. i mean after 10 hours in school and then go for a entirely new group at science after travelling all around nus. i don't really think anyone would do that.

but i flipped the coin and went for it.

didn't regret it at all. cuz maybe it was a small group which i am comfortable with. unlike friday mass that makes me extremely queezyt thinking of it. like whole lt of ppl. that's scary w/o edwin.

anw. so it was alot of sharing. which i don't think i would ever share that amount to anyone in like 3 hours. that's damn alot of sharing. not the negative side. but the last time i shared a piece of me (haha) to someone was in china with chiew hong when i was on carlsberg. and i promise the amount i shared is like 1% of what i did ytd night.

chiew hong wouldn't classify it as sharing (maybe) cuz it was so little. hahahhaha.

i am damn tired now cuz i had the a very bad sleep last night. with my sister coming back into the room at 2am i think. then lemon ripping my sister's new tb's in the room( serve her right for not keeping her books and placing it beside my bed like some flea market). digress a little. i wrapped all her textbooks for her man! i couldn't stand the way she treats her textbooks! and then after wrapping she still doesn't treasure them. ugh.

so lemon was ripping it at night. and then my sister wakes up for school at 6. but today she woke up late. and was late for school so there was all the commotion. so i woke up like 3/4 times throughout the night. not forgetting the sms from i don't know ivle or yiqi. at i don't know what time. bad sleep. headache now. super shag. and woke up with a very bad flu.

im thankful for FCG. and thankful for the person who brought me there. (: and thankful for claire who is UBER hilarious and comical. i haven't laughe till my throat went tight for really long. and thankful for zi hua who is so forgiving and undestanding and loves my brother (THE BROTHER WHO READ THE BLOG. TELL ZI HUA IM THANKFUL FOR HER (: ). and thankful for mary who recovered from the virus attack. thankful for friends in nus. thankful for lemon who is so playful. thankful my cosy house. thankful for a swimming pool which im going down to later.

i am really thankful after yesterday. (:

2010-01-14T11:19:00.003+08:00

accident prone experiences part 2:

some accidents can be explained by pure clumsiness. like whacking into lecture seats, walking into doors (not through), hitting here banging there. but there are some that i REALLY cannot explain.

case 1:

while i was preparing lemon's birthday cake. which i made out of boiled chicken and carrots and turkey and egg. then topped with a layer of steamed and mashed sweet potato. the steaming part killed me. nope not getting scalded by steam.

i was so cautious when i open the lid of the wok after steaming the sweet potatos cuz i was obviously burnt by steam numerous times. so i was determined not to scald myself again. oh so cautious. so i lifted the lid so slowly, so steadily. YES! i wasn't burnt by the steam.

guess what happened next. the steam that condensed on the lid of the wok trickled down and scalded my feet. i shouted and then went to pour cold water over my wound. im speechless.

case 2:

today i was making breakfast. ham and cheese toast. toasted by the triangle bread machine if you know. so i was happily waiting for it to eat the ham and melted cheese with the toasted crunchy bread with coffee. finally its done. so guess how i hurt myself this time.

i didn't burn myself with the hot machine. or drop the machine on my feet. or burn my tongue eating it.

the melted cheese oozed out from the bottom of the bread and fell onto my finger. so i was scalded by melted cheese. so again, i licked the cheese away and cooled my finger. its red now.

im speechless yet again. BUT SERIOUSLY these accidents can't be logically explained. (i hope)

so maybe its time to go hiking with my clone wenying. hahhaha.

school has reopened. still managable cuz tutorials have yet to start. oh im so tired suddenly. i just slept 12 hours last night though.

2010-01-06T12:16:00.002+08:00

shag times a million. beyond what my body can handle.

many many many thoughts about this trip. but lazy to share. some things are better kept to myself. and exclusive to my family.

regretful in summary. but enjoyed little moments.

2009-12-25T23:01:00.003+08:00

something on a lighter note:

yingen says must treasure the times im be able to say im still 18. so.

IM 18! IM18! (i realise i can't ctrl V on blogger why?) WHY?!. fine i shall type it big.

I AM 18 EIGHTEEN ((:

2009-12-25T21:25:00.003+08:00

self reflection of life on christmas. i suddenly find christmas so commercialized. where's is the love?

i didn't prepare through advent. and maybe that's why i feel so right now..?

i rmb last week's sermon. i can't rmb the readings. but priest was talking about how people, after numerous hurts, numerous disappointments, lose their faith in mankind. but most importantly, is not to lose faith in God.

it can't be more true. i'm losing faith in mankind. because we, not you or them, but we, are born with original sin. all of us are sinners. in one way or another we have made numerous empty promises. we have lied. we have said things we didn't mean at all. we have been hypocritical. we judge. the list just goes on and on. everything single thing and every little thing.

yet its the small things that hurt me. i can name a few. but i wouldn't want to hurt relationships. and maybe that's why, through the years, i've become more introvert. i see no point investing in this things called acquaintances and expanding my social network. i strongly believe we only need a few true and good friends. if i were to revamp my msn, to delete those i won't talk to, haven talk to, and will never talk to. those that i'll run away if i spot him at the other side of the mall and especially those who sit beside me on mrt and yet is on my msn, i'll be left with 50 friends?

this is getting disappointing. and my faith is weak.

oh well, merry and happy christmas to those whose christmas really has a meaning other than presents. God Bless.

2009-12-23T11:24:00.003+08:00

hi santa claus, this is what i want for christmas

an electronic sewing machine
2 coach bags (one for mom and one for me)
reformatt my handphone
marukan shaver and a used tennis ball for lemon
kick my habit of shopping online
shift nus to tampines/pasir ris
less fats on my body
see touch and feel real snow
trip around the world in 80 days
a package of a car, license and the courage to drive
a husband.

i think that's all for now santa. thanks (:

ITS CHRISTMAS! and my birthday is coming!! WHEEEEE. that's why i love december. did i mention lemon's birthday too???? wheeeeeeeeee.

2009-12-22T19:27:00.003+08:00

yiqi says my blog doesn't have pictures. so here it is:

this is the famous holiday planner i mentioned a few times. the planner which i didn't make for exams but for a holiday. don't try to read what is written. but just take the point that i was so busy.

i planned to do this cross stitch which i bought in the first week of december. thinking i'll have a free december holiday for me to complete it. its huge. i'll take a year i guess. about 50cm x 30 cm. im g'na frame it up after im done with it.

and because i was soooo busy. this (below) is the result- a horrendously small but messy table. it was empty when i was preparing for finals. WAS.

let me intro then since im go sfree. that's my umbrella. that's mynetbook. that's my shuttlecock. that's my crossstitch. my "mousepad" is a list of names to buy presents for. hence im broke. and there's my celine wallet. and there's the sticker my sis bought from gentings(if you can spoit). and there's one-fifth of my new bag from my new favourite shop cache cache. and the thing at the far most back is one-fifth a picture of a saint. given out during CSS. he accompanied my preperations for finals. not to forgot the many things that are hidden under the pile.

my first finals grades are. a little disappointing. but oh well. is fixed. and mom wants me to quit school. she thinks im a stressed kid, studying too much (please she totally hasn't seen anyone else study, i sleep at 10 hello~) in short a mug too much.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME A MUGGER BECAUSE IM NOT (cough cough hint hint)

not quit school i think. she wants me to pause school (direct translation from chinese).

yawns. i promise to take art back when school term starts. be A LITTLE more active in CSS. and maybe try to do volunteer work. maybe.

2009-12-18T11:01:00.002+08:00

i think. im too accustomed being horrendously busy this holidays that im disappointed not being asked out. although i couldn't have made it.

introvert is getting so busy. im so tired that im scared.

and then there's news that MRI increases chances of getting cancer. INTERESTING.

art exhibition tmr and sunday. prep work today. this whole week i only stayed home for one day.

i am damn tired! i want to swim. i want to tan. i want to sleep.

2009-12-16T11:05:00.002+08:00

im back into enneagram. its an interesting subject. its scary how accurate it is.

type 1- the reformer
type 2-helper
type 3-achiever
type 4-individualist
type 5-investigator
type 6-loyalist
type 7-enthusiast
type 8-challenger
type 9-peacemaker

so i was reading through relationship comparibilities.

fives and twos are ccomplete opposites as it was people versus loner; a feeling type versus a loner type (im the loner). And yet because they are so different, there can also be an intense attraction to the myster of the other. (this is scaring me)

myer brigg's personality indicator (which i refuse to believe) concludes that i'll be attracted to a sales person. oh my oh my. a noisy person that is.

i finally have a day off all to myself. but im still so tired. my body is weak. i can't open my eyes. i feel so weak. i need to sleep again. i don't want to be awaken by random stuff yet again.

one's and five's are quite similiar. and as i read how compatible they are, i agree that i feel comfortable with one's. i think my brother is a type 1. ( I MISS MY BROTHER!!!)

five's and three's are a brilliant couple. THREE where are you?

four's and five's share a unique relationship. sharing creativity and findings. hmmm....

five's and five's connection seem like an intersting chemistry to me. relationship takes a while but can become quickly and secretly attached. long silences and breaks are punctuated with by intense bursts of communication. the meeting of the minds does not have to be full of words.
this is really interesting. i haven't met a type 5 yettt.

i think yiqi is a type 7.

five's and eight's band togetheras a coalition of power (8) and brains (5), a formidable combination. muahahha.

nine often makes fives relax deeply and completely, something fives very much need. i think brenda is type 9.

in conclusion. any type is good. except type 2. where things are viewed so differently, things are done so differently.

source: www.enneagraminstitute.com

its time to read up and learn more about modules for my next sem.

2009-12-15T21:43:00.002+08:00

im gonna sleep at ten today. im really shag. i need to recover.

went out with yiqi today roaming around tampines. and i was telling her. the more i talk to the guy i think i like, the lesser i like him. im not supposed to like him anyway. i seriously don't know what kind of attraction it was.

i've got an art exhibition this weekend. and i'll be really busy. although only one of my art pieces will be shown. along with my other classmates'. i'll take back watercolour painting if i can plan my time table well next sem.

im really really tired.

2009-12-13T22:59:00.004+08:00

i didn't know wiki can't copy and paste so how now. im g'na type everything out?

anyways wanted to share sth interesting:

im g'na declare that im an introvert. and am proud to be one. but before you start generalising me read this:

click the image to read. i print screen from wiki.

2009-12-13T22:49:00.003+08:00

shall blog before i sleep.

and seriously. i don't know if its my life or what. but everytime i let go or give up on something. that thing will hit back right at me after i let it go. and only when i let go.

when i officially killed all my hopes of flying anywhere(even m'sia) this holidays, chiew hong called me saying they are flying tiger airways instead of jetstar(which i couldn't find any matching flights)

yes. so that instant. within an hour i guess. i booked the air ticket.

in short im flying with her to macau then shopping at zhu hai.

and i really hope i don't regret it.

and the same logic applies to my crush/infatuation/liking/puppy love. learn to let go that is.

2009-12-11T11:28:00.003+08:00

i would sincerely apologise to beer. when i was 3 i tried TIGER BEER and hated beer since then. thinking all beer is bitter and (pukes) like the one i tried.

until yesterday. beer was actually okay and nice! okay so im sorry beer.

and im clinging to my last last last hope to fly to macau with chiew hong and fufoong if she confirms with me. yes my last last hope.

and im thankful for the little voice in my head (:

i really wonder why do i make so much typing error. and they are very stupid errors. most of the time typing words that sound the same. is it because i type too fast. or everyone makes the same mistake. just that they read through what they type and change it so i don't spot it.

anyway. macau dream is officially dead with dead fixed flights which i can match with chiew hong. i really give it up flying this decemeber. and im freaking angry. cuz this is my first holiday not flying somewhere since sec4 i think.

i made 2 promises to myself. first is to fly to to countries next long holiday. even if i got to fly by myself. and second is to book flights early next dec holiday.

and i am angry.

2009-12-09T10:29:00.003+08:00

sometimes, somethings you tell too many people. and too many people has too many opinions. (this is testing my grammar which i suck) and when there are too many opinions you go crazy about what to do. that's what happened hmmm. for the past few days.

too many opinions. maybe because im a type 5 and i need to be in control and know what's to do, analyse what's going on and then plan what's next, i totally screwed this game of love.

this game is simple- but many complex(ify) (this is testing my vocab) it.

and the voice in me whispered last night. and i feel so much better.

don't talk about him. don't analyse him. don't think about him. just be yourself and do what you do.

my life doesn't revolve around him anyway.

play my DS. do my cross stitch. appear at gatherings. play with lemon. that's what im supposed to do.

and leave the rest to God. enjoy my favourite month of the year. christmas and my birthday. and be happy.

thank you the little voice in my head. and the guardian angel sitting on my shoulder (:

2009-12-08T11:29:00.002+08:00

i can't believe i need a planner for holidays. when i didn't do a single one for my exams (and maybe this is why i got my exams date and time wrong twice)

and im still very saddd. and there's the devil and angel fighting in my head. hence i can't sleep well cuz the battle just goes on and on and on.

going tj later for table tennis (something like that) then mahjong later. i need to keep myself busy so i won't think of him anymore. and then.

i totally need to lose weight. i've gained 3 kilos! i can't believe it either.

but when i was a little fatter that time when i was on steriods everyone told me i look nicer. gulps.

2009-12-07T17:16:00.002+08:00

the best news of 2009: school reopens at 11jan2010
wonderful news of 2009: SIA promotion to hk S$398 (jan2010-feb2010)
even better news of 2009: malaysian air to taiwan S$398 (sep2009-jun2010)

booking soon.

sad news of dec2009: i never knew getting over someone you like feels like a break up ):

oh! im having a birthday party. shall try to book a place first.

2009-12-05T14:13:00.002+08:00

i've learnt my lesson. and am determined not to like him anymore.

lethal attraction. one sided that is.

few weeks back i was clinging on to liking him but the mere few erm things i like about him.

but the stuff that i don't like about him way overweighs those good points. not that he's bad. but because i just can't accept it.

to summarize. the thing that made me make up my mind to stop liking him is the fact that he is horrendously high profile. with 3 million friends.

so the lesson learnt is. never EVER be deluded by looks and first impressions. cuz 101% of the time they are FAKE. LIKE FAKE. illusions!

and i am going to stop living in self denial that i like him. and stop forcing myself to like him. cuz he is just not the type i like!

fall for someone after you know him.

so angry with myself.

2009-12-03T20:57:00.002+08:00

its finally over! finals are finally over. and i'll spend my day planning my holiday tmr.

watched mulan just now with my girlfriends. and i didn't cry (phew). almost did. but not at any killing scenes (looked away at all of them) or lovey dovey touching scenes. but a scene that made me wonder if the horses are tortured. its sad that they're part of war.

and then this morning i almost cried cuz dad destroyed. almost did. my painting. the lemon and apple one. when i was signing off and putting the dot over my "i" guess what he hit my hand! and it became a blob. i was screaming away. even woke my bro up.

i can't believe i thought today's test was at 2pm. i was like 120% sure and was telling everyone. until... hehe. ya. my bro's friend said. and he has to ask zhang fan and zhang fan had to remind me. haha.

the test was the easiest paper among the four modules. and why? the module that i can't understsand the lecturer or the concepts and do any questions. was the easiest paper. and miraculously i could do them.

and after watching mulan. i wished that i could fight. so should i learn fighting or dancing?

and this marks the end of the sem. a little sad because.....

2009-11-30T19:51:00.002+08:00

because i haven't (is there such a word) liked a guy for so long. i really really think i need an instruction manual.

and twin thinks he's not good.

ohwell. just need a bit more to give up.

2009-11-29T20:26:00.003+08:00

i was thinking in church. why am i happier in school than at home? not saying im unhappy at home. just that your feelings and thoughts erupt at home? am i making sense? (suddenly there's a yiqi voice saying- because there's ME in school!! ^^V) hahaha

reason 1: im too busy to think about things in school

reason 2: my home is a place of solace

reason 3: my brother is looking at my com now when im blogging

reason 4: and he is still reading

reason 5: my brother knows my blog address without me telling him

reason 6: reason 3-6 is just advertisements/sidetracks

reason 7: he is still here (sounds like the irritating blog link in yiqi's blog)

reason 8: i can't blog anymore. all my inspirations are gone.

i stopped studying material science already. you got to stop at some point. and this is my point.

and facebook is difficult to use. distracting. and. hmmm. no more adjectives.

where was i. yea. why do people feel more sad at home.

in conclusion i got no idea.

i shall go update my profile in facebook.

2009-11-27T12:17:00.003+08:00

there must be a reason its called beauty sleep.

cuz i look damn ugly right now. i got eye bags huge like mad. like i cried for 3 hours non stop before sleep. my dark eye circles are huge and dark that i initially thought it was shadow of my eyes but no is not.

and plus a bad bad hair day. i look like i just came back from a war.

all this because i slept at 3. i just couldn't fall asleep after reaching home from the gathering at 1230.

and i didn't study the whole wednesday and thursday for my most confident module. i promise i'll stay focused for this 3 days.

but can i?

i can't focus. even when reading the bible just now. help Lord, help.

church at 6.

2009-11-25T19:52:00.002+08:00

had nightmares.

didn't sleep well. math was horrifying. physics was time consuming.

i need to fly.

and i want to give up on him already. its awefully tiring. im never a marathon runner.

2009-11-21T23:24:00.004+08:00

and i cut my left wrist. like some emo kid

anyway. i cut my left wrist cuz i was swinging my arm and then it got slit by my sling bag. well done. when i saw blood coming out of my left wrist. i thought i was going to die.

fine. the cut is only 2cm. but i mean left wrist. at the erm. wrist? the place where people try to slit themselves attempting to commit suicide?

really i thought i was going to the hospital.

then i was thinking it takes alot of courage(hurt) for people to cut themselves. abuse themselves. and then i thought of someone. traumatizing...

how can i hurt myself. just by. myself.

and i whacked into the side of my room door carrying lemon up from the floor. that 4 cm thick thing and my whole knee whacked into it. the blue black lasted a week. almost faded now.

and then the next day i ran into the hinge side of the door- with the door opened, when playing catching with lemon. i was spinning and running. and whacked into it. causing another blue black on the other knee and hurt my arm.

well done.

i have an perfectly inelastic supply of blue blacks on my body.

physics sucked. and i showed uncle my paper and he said it was tough. at least for 2 hours. and then he added that NUS is like this. trying to pull off their lack of knowledge by stuffing us with complex stuff so we won't have any questions to ask so as not to expose them. applauds.

i wonder how im going get my communion tmr without the communion minister staring at my cut left wrist. i guess only edwin understands...

2009-11-16T21:12:00.004+08:00

and today is grandpa's first death anniversary. almost cried.

and last year this time i was having my a levels.

and maybe that's why grandpa gave me 6A's.

i've decided to go church every evening to pray for everyone and myself.

i find peace in church. (:

2009-11-14T09:40:00.002+08:00

i guess the reason i sleep at 10 is because my body clock wakes me up sooo early regardless of what time i sleep.

so i slept at 2 and woke up at 8. clearly not enough.

i didn't sleep well cuz my brain was too active due to many things that happened. i guess. and programming just can't get off my mind.

being 30 minutes late for a 1.5 hours programming lab test is not very nice. thank you to the accident and normanton which jammed till bedok. i was in bro's car for 1 hour and 10 minutes. not like nicholas who could squeeze through the traffic.

and then xue wei told me something to struck me so bad. not forgetting that the programming lab already drained me like mad already.

and then i was delighted as i was enlightened about my programming assignment at the canteen with edwin and his friend. not that they told me something. but i was just enlightened -thanks Lord- when buying tissue paper for edwin. and more happy things happened.

so it was a roller coaster ride. an emotional one. and then drained, i went for mass. i promise i yawned and teared at least 10 times. im still yawning now. not that the mass is boring. but i was reaaaaaally tired. then there was a 200 slide powerpoint talk on faith formation. which digressed alot in between. and then FINALLY home. nicholas sent all of us home in his toyata wish. and i was sleeping at the back for quite a while.

not really asleep. just closing my eyes and eavesdropping. and trying to stop my limbs getting entangled at the back of the MPV. haha. guess my limbs are too long. knock my head quite a few times. i don't know if i fell asleep or not. but was conscious i guess.

and i just solved and finished my programme. like FINALLY- thanks God.

im really tired. but there's a wedding to attend later. goodness gracious. im really drained. and there's still the report to do for the programming assignment.

thank you so much edwin. third time thanking him for accompanying me to catholic society. i can feel that he somehow dreads it. for some reason. maybe THE reason. ohwell i was praying for you throughout the mass. and for my friends too. and every other thing. (:

i am so tired.

and i think its time to book my second driving test. maybe.

2009-11-12T12:14:00.002+08:00

i've decided to blog after numerous naggings. and my brain is dead doing programming. and my last phase of the programme. yet im stuck at the most simple part- percentile of a belle curve. and when did we learn that??? is it jc. ah yes t-score. i need my notes. which i don't know is where.

and im tired. just came back from a long walk with lemon in the morning. and after everything's done. it was only 11.

uni life is quite the same as jc life i feel. because apparently i got no cca YET. and im not in FASS. i think you'll only feel the difference if you're in FASS.

and luckily, so luckily im in engineering. (:

math physics programming chemistry - just all numbers.

im extremely annoyed by the fact that i like someone. haha. especially its in a very awkward state. neither here not there. and i feel so cheated. oh well.

my brain is preoccupied with programming and i can't stop thinking about it.

and when the blog is dead you seriously don't know where to start with. cuz there's just sooooooo many things unsaid and you can't rmb them already.

im so disappointed. with lotsa things. have not been going for gatherings for my personal reason which upsets me. and then want to join catholic society but its awefully weird for 2 reasons.

and uni stuff is really difficult. and horrendously fast paced.

so how do you calculate score given percentile. what's the formula again?

i am extremely tired. going for a nap after programming.

such a boring post.

2009-09-12T14:30:00.003+08:00

im doing webcast right now. and have decided to muliti task. haha

some pictures..

genetics.

me and lemon's boyfriend: ruffus

lemon guilty after destroying my sister's craft.

horrendously gorgeous and adorable lemon.

my art pieces from here on. sad that i stopped because i am schooling right now. this is lemon drooling over apples. as she always does. oh i didn't sign off.

lemon in my garden

not a very nice piece. my first attempt on drawing a dog.

the southest part of taiwan

some orchid

another type of orchid

tanned lemon.

and now im lost track in webcast and i need to replay. lesson learnt.

2009-09-05T11:52:00.002+08:00

cramped hongkong

venetian macau. damn luxurious.

macau.

pictures of my trip 5 million years ago. haha.

uni life is horrendously hectic. maybe cuz i spent 3 hours travelling everyday. the modules are not very managable because i spent half my time trying to figure out what the professors and tutors are saying cuz they have extremely strong accent. such an INTERNATIONAL school. harmonious. and im playing interfaculty games table tennis. and as i was giving up hope on the useless trainings, then the last training became horribly good. was playing with a guy which totally renewed my love for table tennis. (:

competitions on 18, 19 sep. i demand that brenda chiew hong kit mun and my civil friends to come. HAHA.

loads of notes and tutorials for me to do. bye

2009-08-01T23:19:00.001+08:00

annoying blogger. i can't post any pics. oh well.

just wanted to say a story.

2 lil cousins were fighting over 2 shirts they didn't really like. shirts their cousin bought as souvenir back from a trip. girl A finally got the shirt that she preferred and then passed to her mom. 2 minutes later girl A came back exchanging the shirt with the cousin exclaiming " i think i should let girl B have this cuz i won't wear any of the shirt anyway". and she walked off. not to mention, she said that infront of the cousin.

tada. and im the poor cousin who had to sacrifice the tee shirts she really like from the trip to give her cousins. and this is what she gets.

thinking about it now, im boiling. i so should have done sth at that time. slap her or sth? damn __

and that's my cousin. im SO proud of her. and that's the cousin who my sister mixes around alot with every week. playing facebook.............. computer that is. hello~ p4. facebook. ohwell.

and that should clearly explain how much my sister has changed the past year. i have lost ALL my patience with her. okay hormones do attribute maybe 2%?

and my mom tries to put all the blame, of my lack of patience towards my sister, to lemon. because i love her soooooooooo much i can't stand my sister anymore.

i so wish to state every single example the extent of change in my sister. they way she talks back everything we tell her to do. they way she squeel her way though like some character in mc cabott's bimbotic book.

im still so disappointed with my cousins. how LOVING they are. how unaddicted they are to virtual reality.

and all the disappointments in life have shaped into someone who, erm, doesn't like to, erm, socialise alot. i took quite sometime trying to frame it. and the same reason why i don't like to report and initiate conversations with people. and also the reason i nv care about my cell phone. i guess i shouldn't feel obliged in anyway to get stuff for people when i travel. and the same reason why i don't sew alot of things for people. and the same reason i don't invest alot in poeple relationships. and that's because they have disappointed me enough, for a type 5 to hide back into her safety net.

and that's why i stay home. cuz it is where i feel safe.

and after accepting my 69 friends on facebook, i've decided to deactivate the account. too many reasons to do so. period.

2009-07-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

apparently. blogger seems a bit spoilt when i wanna blog like finally after a month. spoilt. wanted to blog about macau. but. this blogger is so spoilt. another month later i guess....

2009-06-10T18:47:00.003+08:00

its been one month and 6 days since i blog. and its amazing that i left my blog to die when apparently i have lotsa lotsa lotsa time in the world.

its just because the more happenings. the more you're lazy to blog.

and life has yet to stop revolving around lemon. and today she went absolutely crazy. biting and arming the scrungie she has in her mouth. seeming to worth 3 million dollars. okay since i sewed that scrungie, it might be worth 3 million dollars in the future.

apart from that. so many things happened. some gatherings here and there. driving which gives me tremendous pressure. and alot of things to come along that'll keep me uber busy.

i don't know how to put it this through. but it does make me feel a lil uncomfortable about it. but i don't know im just confused. it is a fact that the operation have killed all my active cells and i can't work out like before. yet i wished to be like normal and treated like one. but at times. i yearn for the understanding that i ain't like before.

im still juggling with it. its so difficult.

and im scared of the whatever health check at nus. ugh.

ohyes. nus civil that is.

and last of all. okay second last (just thought of another thing to say) singapore is damn hot.

and then last of the last. i think im going overseas 3 weeks later. stil thinking of a place. japan i think. with who? i dont know. im fine with travelling alone but then. japan has H1N1. im thinking and considering. but i do need a break from this break before i enter uni. maybe its breakS.

i hope (:

2009-05-04T11:01:00.002+08:00

longgggggg time since i blogged.

im just touched that chiew hong and brenda dared to touch lemon. yays.

and that's because lemon is simply too adorable not to touch. winks.

painting lesson begins this friday. and slowly my life will get hectic.

maybe giving my cousin physics tuition. and then i can swim after lessons.

and then driving lessons will begin which is crazy. will finish lessons in 2 weeks. haha.

and then lemon's training will con't as usual which i look forward to every week.

which reminds me that i don't think im attending TJ's award cermoney/ founders day.

ohyes. and my taiwan clothes. first batch is coming. in a few days.

and

i love my life.

2009-04-17T13:20:00.002+08:00

lemon's sitting on my lap now licking my hands while i blog.

i think this is love. haha. heavenly.

i think i haven talked to anyone for a week. anyone meaning those who doesn't stay with me.

i sewed 2 bags and those ornaments that i owe.

i burnt myself by a printer.

and scratched myself moving the sewing machine.

i get attacked by at least 3 mosquitoes a day.

and i wake up to feed lemon at 930 everyday.

i wear the same few home clothes everyday.

and watch the same tv programmes all day.

i signed up for obedience training for me dear lemon already

and also got her a dog license.

was that a poem?

2009-04-09T14:52:00.002+08:00

my life revolves around her.

7005 words.

2009-04-04T13:36:00.002+08:00

lemon just got awoken by thunder. she's extremely adorable. and. one week 2 days and passed.

i love her.

sorry beagle. who has ticks on him.

the previous chapter of liar has ended. i've never been presented with such 2 extreme cases regarding the same thing.

there were just 2 major misunderstandind and many misintepretations.

lesson learnt.

mom was actually supportive of me going engineering.

and then today. she didn't want me to go there at all. cuz she says female engineers. especially civil engineers has no career.

cuz we're physically weaker than guys.

point taken.

but why. does. she. always. sway. her. stand. so. dramatically. overnight.

not once not twice. but numerous times.

just like the poly-jc. thing. OHWELL.

honestly. i don't like business.

lemon is so fat and cute.

2009-03-31T18:37:00.002+08:00

sometimes, the more you wish to clear doubts and make your stand clear, things just get worse.

and i hate it when people lie to me. really. that really annoys me to the max.

maybe because i trust people too easily, and am true to everyone.

mom's say my emotions and thoughts shows directly on my face.

and that's me.

i really hate liars.

2009-03-28T16:58:00.007+08:00

longgggggggg time ago. i blogged about room renovations? really. its serious renovations. look at my empty room. its EMPTY.

and when BOTH my room and my brother's room are empty like empty, things gotta go...
HERE:

plus my mom's room. and the balcony..

and here's latest photos. my lemon. who's crying and whining as usual now.

drinkingg milk.

happy? panting?

and my favourite. her paw.

randoms: SMU interview is UNIQUE. is like going for discussion sessions and taking GP common test. ugh.

2009-03-28T11:41:00.002+08:00

to be honest. i did regret getting lemon at times. because.

my life is topsy turvy now. at least for the past 3 days.

im used to it now.

but she's so horribly adorable and i can't get my eyes of her. so cute that i want to hug her to sleep.

but she need adequete rest.

active lil girl.

and she's partial tray trained. like suddenly. i just left a tray in her play pen. and gave her a treat when she "happened" to pee in there. and subsequently, she con't to pee and poo in there. yay. only once she missed. im so happy.

its much easier to clear up if she pees and poos in the tray. instead of anywhere on the newspaper and i need to redo the newspaper. smart girl.

so smart.

invitation to see her will start after she has her third vaccination and totally fit. in a months time i guess.

mixed feelings. but she's reaaaally a bundle of joy.

((:

will post pictures soon. okay i only have one picture of her on my wallpaper.

2009-03-27T11:04:00.002+08:00

to those who doesn't know.

there's a four legged darling right behind me now.

she's called lemon.

and i bought her on wednesday.

its HORRIBLY DIFFICULT to take care of her.

i worry for her like. shit.

and yes. she shits alot.

but she's such a darling.

lemon lemon.

all my worries are comforted by gernaine-thanks so so much, and of course GOOOOOOOOOOOOOGLE. okay and my family doctor. haha

she's a CHRISTMAS BABY. WOOOHOOO. so that makes her. 3 months old.

a 3 months old baby. pees poos everywhere. so i'll not have high expectiations of her. but just patiently clean her up.

she's going for her third immunization today. and maybe microchip. sorry darling.

she's totally like an infant.

and my neighbour's westie-unsterilised is TOTALLY in love with my lemon. he's 5. and lemon's 3 months. hahahahha.

lemon is a golden brown cocker spaniel. (:

and.

i've got SMU interivew later at 4. i don't know if its a good thing. but lemon had kept me SOOOOOO busy. i didn't have time to think much about it.

and NTU interivew next next week.

ohwell.

and i realise its business school. which i don't really think im going. nvm. get experience-stupid line.

okays byes.

a post full of paragrahs.

2009-03-24T21:55:00.003+08:00

my extreme patience towards elderlies and toddlers is scaring me.

one word: sympathy. that's the only explanation i can find.

and that's the exact reason why i so love that beagle so much.

i went to see him 4 times today. 2 of which he was hiding. he just appears in evenings. and i don't know why.

he is in need of grooming.

i so love him. everyday i pat him i learn more about his little actions. how he uses his paws to bring my hand down to his neck so he can have a comfortable scratch at his neck. and how he uses his nose to guide my hand to pat his head. how he scratch and tries to pull my arm into the small gap between the gate and pillar. oh i so love him.

and i cannot explain the connection we have. i just melt when a dog looks right into my eye. just me and it.

mans. im totally into dogs right now. and i can't stop it. its not a bad thing though.

my room is totally in shape right now. (linked thought that flashed by: where's my digital camera?) okay. i've spent the whole day putting things back into the drawer and cabinet. things that were all over the house. and yes where's my digital camera?

the thing about me is i think alot and very fast. and hence i link alot. and according to this taiwan author-i saw on guess, about aceing your exams, is to think and link subjects.

for eg. you see the word beagle and you think of .................................

and i always do that in exams. especially maths. area->integration-> intercepts->solve simultaneous equations. bla bla bla. so before i see what i got to find, i've already have a rough idea of what im going to face and should do.

well done.

and that's the same reason i can stare into space/sky/sea/nothing for a long period of time.

in short. i think alot.-> TYPE 5

i remember displaying my skill of linking to someone. twin maybe? or. i can't remember. but i remember the person had to stop me cuz it was irritating. somehow. amused by my skill. who's that person?

and yes. this thing i kept for 3 million years. okay to be exact 5+ years i finally threw it away today. its just a copy of the stuff AC wrote online to me. sweet words that i so treasured. but today. i felt that it was time to stop all these. i tore and threw it away. well done. applauds.

and judging from how numb i felt during the barbeque, i can conclude that im quite on track.

i applaud myself again. (:

invasion of privacy by my brother yet again.

mr special connection where are you?

2009-03-22T22:10:00.002+08:00

and introducing my third, okay maybe fourth, boyfriend:

beagle! i don't know what to name him yet. but yes. i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee him. he's on my wallpaper now. (((((:

signed up for all 3 universities alrd.

go engineering! yays.

2009-03-20T10:15:00.002+08:00

i was so excited about getting a dog tmr. until this morning dad asked me if im sure to get a dog at this time when we're renovating.

very good point.

im reconsidering again.

bbq last night was ____. fill in the blank yourself. there's just too many adjectives to place in there.

and im horribly tired cuz my sister was kicking me the whole night.

im extremely tired now.

looking through university application after this.

2009-03-17T11:56:00.002+08:00

i may be good academically. maths, physics, calculations, time management, not sleeping in lectures............

but i suck at managing my feelings.

total failure. but i give up on it.

i think the previous episode of depression is over. yay. haha

my room is empty. and i'll show you how empty it is sometime later after i post some pictures.

lalala

2009-03-15T17:46:00.000+08:00

it hurts because there's just too much differences.

2009-03-13T19:40:00.005+08:00

i've always been posting my proud artpieces.

now, to show some pieces that i was very excited to sew, enthusiastic. but end product totally disappointed me.

i rmb blogging on my excitement sewing this duffel bag. end product? it just looks like. hmmm. a flower sack. oh well.

this top? the most challenging. no drawings to help. no instructions. tokyo fashion inspired top sewed from pure cloth. it looks a bit too baggy to me. so should i wear this tomorrow? does it look very bad? but im horribly comfortable in it. (: disappointment: doesn't look as nice a expected.

something nice now. scrungie for mom. i made one for twin too. bad thing? twin's too tight. mom's too loose. hehe. poor gauging. and yes. that's my beloved sewing machine i've dong ALL my work. mom's dowry. which was already second hand. but i love it. ((:

2009-03-13T11:34:00.001+08:00

yay.

just went to see the poor beagle again. and i saw someone in the house. ((:

guess some people are rich enough to buy a private estate to keep birds and dogs and not humans. haha.

^^

cera is so cute.

2009-03-12T22:08:00.003+08:00

i lost my CDC userid and password. blinks.

as i was taking a walk around my neighbourhood with my sissy and parents, hoping to see the chi hua hua labrador beagle family, i saw something that totally broke my heart.

was turning back into my house. okay a few turns before. there was this vacant house that kept a few birds in cages. i always noticed it cuz i didn't understand why birds are kept there despite it being vacant. i thought it was cruel enough.

until mom saw a dog in there. it was jumping at the gate. scratching, clawing to get out. when i walked there it started crying and whining. i almost cried. almost. really. i was exclaiming and questioning my mom.

she couldn't give me an aswer.

we walked back to my house. and i saw that beagle squeezing its head trying to look out of the gate.

so what's happening to the dog. hungry? lonely? or left to die? worst, he's just staying right there. 5 minutes walk away from my house.

a vacant house and a beagle. this tears my heart.

how can i help? how???

im sad.

2009-03-12T18:05:00.002+08:00

i blogged ytd night. but the internet disonnected and the post disappeared. technology.

this was last night's post:

i forgot what to blog about.

came up with a wishlist:
a new sewing machine.
the big dog book..? or just to read it.
a tiffany.
a cocker spaniel.
a trip to japan.

i gave my first peck to Dora. and my first kiss to Lemon. and they both left me heartbroken.

and this is today's blog:

i went to chinatown myself for my dental appt. and then walked to choose cloth to buy. but i didn't like to walk in any shop so just randomly and quickly walked a few rounds and then went to kovan to meet mommy and daddy.

painted 2 walls in my room yesterday listening to 30 of show luo's songs.

im horrendously, horribly, extremely messed up now. i cant sort out my feelings and my thoughts.ugh

2009-03-09T23:09:00.002+08:00

confusing.

i don't know where im going for university. am i even going one?

anything.

back a few days, i was horribly guilty not getting a job. cuz i have yet to find someone who isn't working.

then i got better after mom's counselling and great plans for me until july. haha.

i don't know if its a type 5 thing that keeps making me fall for the same people i liked before. maybe so, cuz i just can't walk out of my past. feelings always come 5 million yearss after things happened.

type 5- the thinker.

ohwell.

had steamboat just now. a warm gathering. happy to serve.

i miss mahjong. and i can't believe im going tekong tmr. random.

lastly, my grades can only be explained by my Lord.

2009-03-07T13:20:00.002+08:00

before i konk out after eating the double drowsy medicine, i shall blog.

i slept at 5 this morning. cuz firstly, i was super hungry. secondly, i had SUPER BAD sore throat. it wsa really baddddd! thirdly, a mosquito was harassing me-it bit my face.

and of course, after all the excitement+commotion+conversation+events+..... of course my brain waves are too hyped up and i couldn't get to sleep.

oh im so tired now.

2009-02-25T23:25:00.003+08:00

gooooooooodness gracious.

i was totally in a mess a few days back. and still kinda lost.

i realize i really enjoy being alone.

i don't know if its a bad thing or not.

current project: dress

upcoming project: top

Next up: 2 bags.

im keeping myself busy. so as to forget about some things.

some people describe type fives as a cabbage- with the heart right inside.

i hardy allow my heart to take control. its my mind that controls everytime.

ohwell.

2009-02-18T15:37:00.006+08:00

Here you go cera.

i forgot to take picture of my cutie-Benny(named by my sis). Its a vintage teddy bear. and LV inspired cloth. haha. i take it to sleep. ((:

no idea why im blogging to frequently. think this post plus the past 2 post can just combine into one post. just continuation.

i went to pasir ris library with foong that day to return my library book and borrowed and cd attachment to a sewing book. happily borrowed the cd home. and then just now i found out that there's a password to use the disc that is in the book. @#!! so angry. i gotta go borrow the book again to see the password.

will go to bedok library on friday. alot of sewing and craft books not on loan there. unlike pasir ris library whose rack is almost empty. i gather its cuz bedok is an aging place. haha

2009-02-17T20:53:00.009+08:00

another post to honour my sewing projects. in case people really think that im wasting time at home doing nothing.

among all these horribly messy bags, ( my mom calls me bag-man), the multi coloured is one of my favourite works. ((:

This denim white skirt WAS a white giordano hipster i wore in sec 2. and i can't fit in anymore. but now its a skirt i can!

Delia, here's the wrap skirt. but this is for my mom. apparently she can't wear it cuz um. she says her tummy is too big. so its mine now. ((:

This is my wrap skirt. it has 3 pockets infront. while my mom's doesn't have cuz she wants to front piece to be at the back. if anyone understands. haha. i LOVE this piece.

i sewed this today. Delia, please choose one of these and those below. if you observed, its made using leftover cloth from my sling bag.

THe basketball is really supposed to look like abstract art. not my poor skill. REALLY.

my dogs again. CERA, please choose which colour you prefer.

Here you go, i sewed this whole bunch today. after nagging from some friends (brenda and kit mun) that i never sew anything from them.

that's all.

ohya. i didn't post my sis skirt. and the pouch i sewed for andrea.

2009-02-17T10:52:00.002+08:00

my mahjong luck has yet to end. haha

i think we're totally disturbing brenda's household. we need a change in place.

i totally open my house for visits. but you know. its deserted and isolated and far from civilization.

my knee hurts like shit now. ytd it was quite bad alrd in the morning and i walked around and it turned worst. and this morning. it was horrible.

i really don't know what did i do.

mom said it was mahjong -.-. when sitting down is the only time i don't feel the pain. WOW.

bought buffalo jeans that day when i was at marina square. i think its the best buy of the year. yay.

and im tired.

have overworked myself. and didn't have quality sleep cuz i've been thinking too much lately. TOO MUCH.

still struggling between the one i should like and the one i like. not that im choosing from guys. but just thinking. what should someone choose. someone they really like. (feelings) or someone they should like (qualities).

as a type 5, i guess i obviously will choose the latter. ohwell.....

for the interested. im talking about enneagram. and i finally persuaded/enticed someone to know more about it! which is fu foong. and ytd she did the test and she's a type 7.

and brenda's computer hang when she was awaiting her results.

just google enneagram test.

and to reward me for such a good introduce. please tell me the result of your test!!!

i read in the book that type FIVEs are enneagram freaks.

in case someone might think its against religious whatever to get obsessed with such things. maybe i d'no why but linked to horoscope and zodiac.

the book i read was. enneagram- a christian perspective. and written by a priest. and recommended for me to read by my beloved nun when i was in taiwan. so

its safe i guess.

PLEASE TELL ME YOUR TYPE. ((:

2009-02-11T20:28:00.002+08:00

5 bags, 4 skirts, 1 dog. that's about it all.

finished sewing another skirt for mom. and my whole day's gone.

i really need to settle alot of stuff. but singapore is huge and i can't drive.

totally doesn't tempt me to start learning. cuz i see my friend's progress almost nil.

back to the topic. i need to get loads of supples from chinatown (should i even do it? is it time to stop sewing alrd? i'll have to think about it again), and then the long-expired food thongs/tongs from chiew hong, and my locker stuff from shi ting's place. that's almost the whole singapore.

so should i con't with my aimless sewing? which doesn't bring monetary benefits and satisfaction.

and since i totally like to sell the things i do. or like to sell random things (like stupid tin pencil cases which isn't sold at all- i give up. just leave them there). im taking up business at SMU i guess.

80% so...

went SPCA that day to look at dogs. and that lucky day was the influx of new dogs to fill up empty slots of dogs that were adopted away. and it was record high. and then there were loads of toy breed dogs, HDB approved hence high demand.

but no dog to my fancy.

and then i went twin's house for mahjong. luck was damn good. can't help it.

im currently sewing a duffel bag now. but need to get my grommets to finish everything. and grommets are apparently still on the shelves of the shop in chinatown.

i think the duffel bag is reaaaaaaaaaaly nice. hopefully people really like it alot and will buy from me. hahahaha. then i can sew duffel bags at home and earn a million( i wish).

bored at home. taking up painting soon i guess.

2009-02-06T10:02:00.002+08:00

i might just end up buying a puppy instead of adopting them.

adopted dogs are like 80% mogrels which i really don't fancy. and others that are not are alrd very old. and when a good dog comes around, it gets adopted away so quickly.

furthermore, there are so many scams.

i don't know.

i've been spending my time so aimlesslyyyyyyyy. other than sewing. but not selling them which makes me feel like im wasting time.

but i don't wanna work....

feel like some headless housefly.

goodnesss. i wanna travel again.

2009-01-31T00:08:00.002+08:00

went out today. all the way till aljunied. goodness feels like some distant place. could have fainted on the trip back mannnn.

toook a crowded mrt. like crowdedd.

and when i finally reached tampines i took the uber crowded escalator down.

the crowd was horrifying. and made me super dizzy.

saw the primary school classmate that has the same birthday as me today.

super tired.

im really into sewing. really love it.

2009-01-28T09:15:00.011+08:00

im back from bintan last night.

apparently, i disappeared without trace. other than cera who just happened to sms when i stepped out of my house. haha

okay. it was horribly gorgeous although its only a two day one night stay. but. amusing.

im crab red now cuz was tanning...

some pictures...

reached at night. and the nightview is horribly awesome. and heavenly. went for a dip after dinner. eating butter prawns. im so jealous of myself....

Breakfast place... amusing.

It ate up my cousins...

Swimming alone in MY pool. and that's a cliff behind me.

The wonderful pool.....

My tanning/jacuzzi spot.

My tanning view.

The beach. i love my tan.

introducing my new haircut. and my mom.

the trip there was horrible. my mom puked like no one's problem. and had to hang in there so badly. thanks to the stupid huge waves that were roaring and creating some horrible SHM. ugh.

the trip back was fine.

for the exclusive pool+view+service+comfortable room+nice ambience+sea+culture+everything you see above+oh yes my wonderful tan= okay you can say priceless. BUT. it is 16MILLION rupiah for one night. oh so much money. and converted, is 1600 USD=around S$2400 one short damn night.

no one wants to pay that money for that experience anymore. none that went. but I DO!

sexy. i wanna earn moneyyyyyy. lotsa them.

I LOVE BINTANNNNNNN

2009-01-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

i gets totally hazardous when i take public transport in 3 million years.

the took mrt yesterday. the first time since christmas. and apparently. i hit myself twice. first was the middle sit with the white thing jutting out. and so i sat down and wham. GOK! damn loud. i wonder if anyone laughed. i'd have. and then sat till eunos and then time to get down. GOK! i bang into the hand grips. ugh. and i went out the scary place.

went to see the doctor today due to some irrating allergy at my neck . and then i asked if i'm medically able to keep a dog. AND HE SAID YES. supportive. yay.

went to trim my hair too at far east.

went home. damn tired.

officially opening my blog shop after this. yay. go visit.

www.tinpencilcases.blogspot.com

please advise me and give suggestions. HERE of course.

2009-01-20T11:06:00.007+08:00

like i always said. i've been sewing. and not working. and somehow living aimlessly. but still i wanna share my works. haha.

This is my latest work. doggy plushy i hang at my DS. cuz i've just bought nintendogs, a game that allows me to keep dogs. and is super real. yepp.

I got inspired to sew after seeing the above bag. but it didn't turn out THAT well. but still usable. double sided.

My favourite bag. i love the cloth. and the little plane there. oh it looks a bit slanted.

This is my very first bag. a little small. but able to put books and worksheets. for teachers. haha

This bag is supposed to look nice. but looks fluffed and puffy because of the cotton inner layer that is too thick.

All the bags are "flippable"and double sided. and i like the flower inner layer. oh and yes i picked all the cloth myself at chinatown.

on average i took about 4 hours each on each bag. from drawing and cutting the cloth. until sewing every part on the old sewing machine. 4 hours infront of the tv of course.

im asking for opinions now...

considering it is purely handmade. and one of a kind. and double use. and. needs super alot of effort from me. advise me around how much i can or you would pay for a bag.

seriously, i don't know why my work doesn't seem so nice in the pictures. looks horribly thwarted. oh well. can't help it.

2009-01-14T21:59:00.002+08:00

i think people should totally adopt animals instead of buying new ones.

i don't see anything wrong with adopting pets.

i wanna learn alot of things.

cooking
watercolour painting
driving
fashion design
interior design
sketching
dancing
craft
professional sewing
chinese calligraphy

and of course go travellinggggggg...

i've set up my blog shop with all my details ready and stuff. but i've yet to set up a new bank account AND paypal account. which is like the most important thing to set up a shop.

till when...?

i really want to go to the beach someday. one day.

2009-01-07T12:35:00.002+08:00

i don't feel quite good now. been thinking alot.

actually im really a quiet person. i just realised recently when im in taiwan.

and like i always said i've matured alot.

so party's and erm. gatherings may not be as enticing anymore.

to me, after all that has happened, time is really precious.

i wish to spend time doing or even maybe wasting, on the things i love to do.

i guess everyone's different. i can't force things but only accept them.

NAFA short-term courses on painting. watercolour/oil/acryllic/sketching. anyone?

2009-01-05T12:00:00.002+08:00

the probability of me working during this longgggggggg break is 0.2

i'm gonna sign up for classes. maybe cooking. sewing. design. anything that interests me.

and then i maybe learning to drive.

this thing about learning driving stirs up some unhappy arguments in me.

i feel that driving license should only be obtained when there is a need or when there is already the availability to drive-that is a car.

in short, you should learn driving and obtain a license after thorough planning, and decision making.

to others, okay, some, or many, driving is a skill to learn even if there isn't a car.

even worse, getting a license is a must or fashion or trend; something you can flaunt when you reach 18.

the above 2 will just become traffic hazards.

so i was quite unwilling to learn driving until my uncle logically convinced me that this period of time is the best time to learn driving. as it is totally not feasible to learn when you enter university and got to squeeze precious time to learn then.

possible. im still considering.

a car is not in sight. and brother will use it most of the time.

i just want to be a considerate singapore citizen who will not create trouble/death/accidents/news, for driving with rusty skills. especially when i'm a girl.

that's all about driving.

2009-01-02T19:46:00.002+08:00

i've been busy sewing for the past few days. another hidden passion i'm realising now since i got all the time in the world.

so i've mastered the use of a sewing machine within an hour. im totally gifted. haha

so i've sewed 12 pouches for my loved nuns in taiwan. and currently embarking on a bag.

i so love sewing. cutting. planning.

and cooking.

so that makes me a housewife. haha

had MRI few days back. got no idea about the results. but one thing for sure was how painful that injection was. ugh.......

getting back the results on tuesday. and having chalet from mon till wednesday.

getting more cloth from chinatown next tuesday i guess.

and i bought nicholas sparks's newest book, with discount credits to kit mun.

yet to read it. but hope to read it during the chalet beside the beach.

that's the one thing i so love to do.

that's what FIVEs love to do.

back to sewing.

and i totally dislike the noisy neighbour!!!

my new year resolution is to get rid of them.. hahahha.

2008-12-29T20:54:00.002+08:00

ah yes. t'hat's my taiwan bf.
miss him so much.

no mood to blog now.

i wanna go back taiwan.....

i posted my taiwan pictures on friendster. take a look if interested.

2008-12-25T13:50:00.003+08:00

im back on 22nd. and im still horribly tired because of all the celebrations right at our house when i've yet to recharge myself.

this year's christmas party was held at my house and it was so horribly tiresome. i had so much things to do for the guests and didn't even have much dinner and had gastric and stuff. despite my fatigue i still went to the midnight mass at my aunt's church. could have fainted.

but the sermon was about christmas initially a suffering and not a very merry ocassion because Mary and Joseph couldnt find a place for the birth of Jesus and bla bla bla (slept here maybe) and then it turned into a joyful occasion...

so i thought my total giving to my relatives and to fulfil their needs and wants was erm. was was. meaningful.

i learnt alot from my taiwan retreat and really didn't wanna leave. it was so sad. i really loved that place so so much. i could stay there for months.

this city life is just so stressful and fast paced and everything that is not close to being carefree.

( i stopped here and saved and draft cuz its wasn't convenient to continue blogging)

and now i can't rmb what i want to say.

oh well.

about my taiwan trip. i'll post the nice pictures on friendster cuz i think its a waste of time to post on friendster and on blogger. and especially when blogger is so horribly slow. link on margin.

i had a boyfriend in taiwan. loved him to bits. but because we can't really be together. okay fine is impossible. so we seperated now. sigh. miss him so much.

looking at the stuff i bought which fills a 50 litres luggage bag, there's really isn't much stuff that were bought for myself. ohwell, christmas is about giving.

im so tired to do anything now. yawnsssss.

yesterday was christmas party with the few us at chiew hong's place. was really fun. and reached home really late. managed to catch the last train. Thank Lord.

man, im too tired to blog anymore. there was just so much i wanted to say yesterday when i wanted a long post. and now. all my inspirations are gone.

oh yes, read this book in my retreat recommended by the nun who was in charge of my retreat. its about enneagram. about the 9 types of characters bla bla bla. its so true.

im a type 5.

google enneagram if you're interested. i'll blog about the details about type 5 in the next post. that book/theory is amazingly correct, and knows more about myself than i do. after reading it and thoroughly knowing myself, alot of mystery and questions i had were solved.

why did i do such stuff and always reacted this way.

and it said this in the book : FIVEs greatest challenge is learning to love.

and amusingly, after reflecting on my retreat and the things that happened there, God had been teaching me to love.

im still learning.

shall post the pictures now. bye

2008-12-11T20:08:00.001+08:00

today's the last day with daddy's laptop i can use. so i won't be able to update i think.

i'm really starting to enjoy taiwan alot once i mixed into the grassroots.

i really love navigating around through MRT and walking around. this place is wonderful. and extremely interesting.

today went to xin1 guang1 san3 yue4 shopping mall. which is 13 levels of stuff to shop. and they call it here zhou1 nian2 qing4 so there's damn lotsa discounts with damn lotsa people.

we bought quite some stuff and took alot of time to travel to the first floor from the thirteenth cuz there's just so many good offers and things to buy. and dad got kinda irratated. bought some rubbish too. haha

sister and dad's going back to singapore tomorrow and im quite sad about it without my sissy to cuddle. but i promised my mom to attend the retreat so i gotta go for it. and i guess there'll be more freedom and shopping for me after this. yay.

im so enjoying myself. whoohoo.

i love the people here.

they are so genuinely friendly and their service is so good.

unlike those hypocritical service men in singapore who only smile to foreigners. ohwell. there's just so much improvement that needs to be done to the service sector in singapore.

did i mention that the guys here are horribly good-looking? just a walk on the street and you can find loads of eye candies (singapore standard). i really wonder why their genes are so good. melts~

alright gtg bye

2008-12-10T16:54:00.001+08:00

i honestly have too high hopes for taiwan. especially since i've been wanting to come here since secondary school. under the influence of the pop culture here.

its a nice country to stay for about a week or so. but 22 days needs to e reconsidered.

then again, im now starting to enjoy this place. where we go free and easy and navigate our way around.

bought loads of random stuff and ate lotsa food.

this place is messy in a way that is already deeply embedded in this taiwan culture.

i can't wait to go back to singapore and travel to another country.

i really love to be at a place where no one knows me. kinda weird, but i feel really relaxed this way.

friends are still needed at times.

i think as the years passes, i mature really quickly. i don't really think i have the mindset of a 18 year old but mabye a 25 or even older.

i don't know why.

anw, during holidays, time passes so very quickly and you there's no date. and before i knew it, its so many people's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:
hui ying
cera
ying en
chun han
nan xiao
shermin

i don't remember birthdates well too.

i feel like posting some taiwan pictures. but blogger makes it such a hassle.

ohyes, my show luo is holding an autography session this sunday and i might make a trip down to take a look. can't get his autograph cuz i can't buy the pre-ordered album. oh well. a trip down, hopefully, will we inspiring.

i can't believe i'll be using the adult ez-link card so very soon.

2008-12-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

i've touched down yesterday and am so uber busy.

taiwan's great. but a lil scary for a stranger.

i don't really enjoy the horribly packed night market.

and i love listening to the tour guide talking about the taiwan history as my china studies knowledge has proven useful for once. okay maybe twice or thrice.

didn't buy much things cuz i plan to leave till after this tour when i get my free time.

no time to sketch or paint.

i went up to ah li shan today. horribly dissy ride which proved to be a waste of time cuz i don't find the stuff up there worthy of the ride up AND down. motion sickness....

food here in taiwan is tempting but i haven't started gorging myself yet. the people here are hmm. quite friendly, but a bit forceful or maybe overenthusiastic when it comes to sales.

7 days 6 nights 5 hotels. and waking up at 6 in the morning everyday and sleeping at almost 12. taking the luxurous bus for numerous hours a day travelling from the top to the bottom of taiwan.

i feel like some nomad.

please leave a wishlist on my tagboard so i can try to get for you as present. don't be shy; just make things a lil bit easier for me.

ohyes. especially to cera and delia: guess who i saw just now. at a busy busy night market.........

goodness, i was totally laughing out loud when i saw him.

i saw

POSB!!

wanted and almost said hi, but i walked off. haha.

scary!

alright nites bye.

2008-11-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

so much better.thanks for you guys' concern.

starting my packing soon. and clearing up my notes.

busy week ahead.

2008-11-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

im tired. so very tired. a levels has finally ended. but right now, conquering a levels is nothing. life has so much more difficulties.

since sunday, i've been to and fro the wake. i barely did any studying to be honest. im too tired. and i don't really fancy putting a brave front when im in school to show that nothing much had happened, when something so big happened.

today was cremation before the stupid cse paper. i was so tired. i cried so badly i couldn't stop. grandpa's left. he's left for good.

no one so close to me has left before. its so painful. my beloved grandpa whom i shared so many memories with. he's gone.

no amount of condolences can heal me. even right now in front of me they're so many pictures of him. this room im sitting right now is where he used to stay.

i miss him so much. he's left.

but the world still revolves around the sun. a levels does not postpone just because grandpa passed away. you're not king cuz your grandpa passed away. friends don't love you that extra bit cuz your grandpa passed away. life goes on.

my parents kept saying that the timing of his death is so perfect. yes, God's plans are always perfect. to grant my taiwan trip, grandpa left early. he left when all my heavy papers are already over and only left with the heck care subjects.

its such a awfully tiring day.

im tired.

no celebrations no anything. i've got no mood to go out to bugis or to anywhere.

no prom night no shopping. no going out with friends.

let me recover at home and then fly to Taiwan. let me disappear for a while.

then again, i never kept in touch with anyone cuz i feel that its odd.

i feel that blogging already updated what is needed and is my friends' choice to read it or not.

let me disappear.

i love to stay home and be with only my family. and honestly, i never liked to hang out in big groups and go to city. i get tired easily after hours of shopping, especially when i never enjoyed walking into boutiques after boutiques.

i love home and doing my own things quietly, anything and everything i love. music, drawing, and sitting down quietly observing things.

i may seem to be an active jovial girl. but deep down i do enjoy books and my own quiet time alot.

just let me disappear, and hopefully when i reappear you guys will still take me back.

i miss grandpa. i really do so much.

these few days passed so slowly, drowning me in tears and fatigue.

i just wanna sleep and disappear from my friends.

then again, i'll feel left out when no one contacts me; i never fail to contradict myself.

ohwell, let things take its course and just let me disappear.

bye grandpa, i can't wait to see you in Heaven.

in these few days i've grown and learnt alot. and more death will come by as we grow older. ohwell, its part and parcel of life that i gotta learn in life.

update yourself through my blog if it matters.

ohyes. if any teacher dare bring me up as an example to juniors that you shouldn't leave studying to the last minute cuz you don't know what will happen just like "that senior who's grandpa passed away during a levels". i promise i will feel damn insulted and also damn angry for my grandfather and i won't know what i'll do.

2008-11-17T13:25:00.000+08:00

grandpa passed away yesterday morning peacfully.

its been sad. and busy.

will be at the wake everyday and doubt i can do much studying.

at least he's enjoying and praying for us in Heaven right now.

Love you grandpa.