10:15 AM. Monday, March 29, 2010
finally let loose yesterday. went back to ahs for table tennis with foong, bren and bren's friend, wei xiong. :Dits been a long time since i sweat until every inch of my skin glowed. shimmery. and as i thought i'll lose some weight. i found myself to be 2 kg heavier this morning. as of 3/4 months back. so 2kg of fats turned into 4kg of muscles?lots of thoughts. and self reflection this morning as a sat infront of the garden. most importantly with lemon beside me. i feel like i have a huge baggage on me. and only with lemon all the weight is gone. there need not be any self censor, or image to keep. im too self conscious. and my image is too important to keep. it gets tiring. perfectionist? can there be no flaw and mistake i can have? can i not fall?too many embarassing things lately. feelings too honest on my face. words leaking out. sigh. what's a friend..?from google, a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. so there's 3 parts. 4 if you don't wish to assume a friend is a person. lemon is not my friend. she's my daughter. makes sense. so there is: you know well, affection and trust. affection : a positive feeling of liking ; trust: have confidence or faith infaith: complete confidenceconfidence: assuranceassurance: freedom from doubt; binding commitment to do or givecommitment: binding yourself to a course of action. so how many friends do you have. none? God? i never knew a friend involves that much. am i a friend to someone? is anyone a friend of mine?